Face to Face Counselling



WHAT IS COUNSELLING?

Counselling is an interpersonal process and relationship which begins with the counselor helping a client to explore the way he/she thinks, how he/she feel and what he/she do, for the purpose of enhancing his/her life.

GOALS OF COUNSELLING

  1. Self understanding
  2. Learn to share self
  3. Learn new ways of thinking
  4. Learn to change behavior
  5. Self actualization
  6. Support one another


WHAT COUNSELLING IS NOT

  1. Providing information
  2. Social conversation
  3. Ordinary encounter
  4. Teaching or preaching
  5. Logical analysis
  6. Giving advice, answer or suggestion
  7. Just solving problems only
  8. Just encouraging and enlightening
  9. Threatening and inducing
  10. Criticizing and blaming


WRONG MOTIVES OF COUNSELLING 

  1. Curiosity
  2. Maintain unhealthy friendship with clients
  3. Need for power – to correct others
  4. Need for doing good – ‘You cannot do, let me do it for you’
  5. Savior mentality – ‘You are helpless, let me save you’


COUNSELLOR IS

A Supporter
  • Counselor will try to understand, accept and support client’s feeling without judging.

A Consultant
  • Counsellor knows his/her limitation. A counsellor will not speak or act beyond his/her capacity.

An Observer
  • In order to understand and help effectively, a counsellor will observe the client intensely to determine his/her physical, emotional and mental state.


COUNSELLOR IS NOT

A Savior
  • In a desperate situation, a counselor may be a client’s pillar or most trusted friend, but a counselor will not play such a role all the time in the counselling process. A client needs to learn to deal with problem independently and shoulder greater responsibility.
  • A counsellor cannot take the place of a client. For e.g., a counselor cannot go dating or reconcile with family members on behalf of a client.

A Tyrant
  • Counsellor will not force a client to decide.
  • Counsellor will not pressure a client to change his/her thinking and behavior.
  • Counsellor will not force a client to deal with issues he/she is not ready to face.

A Nanny
  • Counsellor will not be soft all the time. A counsellor can be firm.
  • Counsellor will not allow unhealthy emotional attachment from client.
  • Counsellor will not be present with client all the time. Client needs to learn to face the uncertainty of life independently.

A Super Computer
  • It is impossible for a counsellor to give answers or solution formula to every problem since there are no standard answers to most problems in life.

A Repairer
  • Many people wait until the last minute before seeking counselling thinking that a counselor can just fix their problems. Sometimes problems can be so severe even the counsellor cannot do anything.